» If you can read this, you're not doing whatever you're supposed to be doing right now either.

» GSM: Geen Snoer Meer

» I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.

» Een boom-o-fiel is iemand die takken afrukt.

» Boer: I fuk horses. Amerikaan: Pardon? Boer: Paarden ja.

» Callcenter: Bent u de beslissingnemer in uw huishouden? Klant: Dat weet ik niet, even aan mijn vrouw vragen.

» Gouden idee (steel het niet!) : Double-sided PDFs

» You can drink until someone becomes pretty, but you can't drink enough to make them smart.

» Bekend nederlands spreekwoord: His rooster must always crow King

» Drugs, is not the answer unless the question is why are you eating spaghetti with your hands

» The past, the present & the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

» Als ik boodschappen ga halen dan gaan de deuren van AH vanzelf open als ik er aan kom. The Force is with me.

» Cats are just nature's middle finger

» In a past life, I was stoned to death for believing in reincarnation

» My time machine and I go way back

» My therapist said I have multiple personalities and rage issues. So we hit him.

» Het weer: Vanaf 12 uur worden er middagtemperaturen verwacht tot 18 uur

» If I'm asked on my deathbed what was my greatest regret in life I would have to say dying

» Het meervoud van water is wateren

» Voorkom parkeerboetes door je ruitenwissers in de snelstand te laten staan

» Weerspreuk: Als het regent in mei, dan is april voorbij!

» If you go to the gym, but don't post about it on any social media sites, did it really happen?

» Pollen is nature's way of raping you in the face

» A multivitamin a day keeps the vegetables away

» Now that zombies are all the rage, vampires are dead to me

» Love means never having to say anything because you're both looking at your smart phones

» Cows are pretty nice to us considering that we eat them

» Prune juice is the way to go

» Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him.

» They called it Twitter because Everybody poops was taken

» I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now

» Sadly enough, people with epilepsy have the moves like Jagger

» KTC: The program formerly known as KMB

» Books: Because your mind is an infinitely darler more terrifying place then any film director's interpretation

» 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depesssion 5. Acceptance. The five stages of realizing you're out of coffee.

» When I'm on my deathbed, I won't regret anything in my life except buying a deathbed.

» Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is, we'll find it.

» Ik luisterde niet goed, dus laat ik maar leuk lachen en hopen dat het geen vraag was.

» Gisteren was vandaag morgen; morgen zal gisteren vandaag zijn.

» Yoda of Borg are we. Assimilated prepare to be.

» Some people get married because they're tired of dieting

» Voor elke oplossing is wel een probleem te vinden

» Hoge glazen vangen veel bier

» You can't cure obesity with bigger pants

» Do not panic! Just google it.

» A mistake is simply another way of doing things

» Karl Marx was wrong. Religion is not the opiate of the masses. Twitter is. Also Angry Birds.

» Zie er slanker uit door het vermijden van horizontaal getreepte kleding en voedsel

» Ik weet niet wat SOPA is, even zoeken op Wikipedia...

» Everybody is ignorent, only on different subjects.

» Rejection is just another word for a new opportunity

» If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution.

» Talk to the hand, but don't sign anything.

» After I already clicked "No" to making IE9 my default browser, the second prompt that said, "Please?" was a bit much.

» Sorry about all the typos lately, gays

» ADHD is about not being able to pay attention. Twitter is about never getting enough attention.

» Lost time is never found again

» There are 2 types of people in the world: people that complete their statements &

» Curiosity killed the cat because the cat woke Curiosity up at 6am

» Wrestling was invented because guys felt like hugging just wasn't enough

» A clean house is the sign of a broken computer

» Don't worry what people think, they don't do it very often

» Sometimes the Force is with you, and sometimes you're just some jerk in a bathrobe waving a plastic lightsaber.

» To err is human ... to really foul up requires the root password

» Life is too short to remove USB safely

» Facebook & You: If you're not paying for it, you're not the customer. You're the product being sold.

» When life gives you questions, Google has answers

» Crazy that, before electricity, they had to power guitars with steam

» To exceed beyond your wildest expectations you must begin with wild expectations

» When you are arguing with a fool, make sure he isn't doing the same thing.

» Vanilla Ice got a bad rap but he recorded it anyway